


Transparent Only For You

by SennenChibi



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Other, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SennenChibi/pseuds/SennenChibi
Summary: Until now, besides the fact that he'd come crashing back into life with no warning and no reason, everything was relatively normal, or at the very least, was the sort of strange that he could handle.This was definitely weirder than he could handle.This was wrong.





	1. Return

**Author's Note:**

> (10/10/18, rating has been changed due to future chapters)
> 
> Ok, I'm going to try this. 
> 
> I don't really feel qualified to write this, but I'm trying to go about it with the maximum amount of respect possible, and with the knowledge that this fandom needs more of these as opposed to "well because magic" fics regarding the same subject. 
> 
> I do have more where this came from, and if there's interest in it, I can post them and keep writing. 
> 
> There may seem to be prejudice written in the following text, but that is because real people face this same thing. Real people face prejudice and confusion and people who don't understand. These characters will face similar hardships. 
> 
> In Japan, things like this are still considered a pretty big stigma from what I understand.(?) Where I live in the US, we're slowly adjusting and working to become more open minded and learn about those around us. 
> 
> Ok, disclaimer out of the way, I do hope that if you decide to read, you enjoy! 
> 
> And if you do want more, drop a comment letting me know, and I'll definitely be able to post more.

The first thing he registered was pain.

Survival instinct kicked in, and he started trying to lift himself off the ground, blinking repeatedly, trying to clear his vision.

Where was he?

Blinking a few more times, still seeing only dark shapes, he tried to remember anything that might lead him to why he would be here, and where here might be.

The confusion was a thick fog.

He instinctively reached for Yuugi, mentally trying to grasp a connection that he was only starting to remember can't have been there.

He desperately tried to piece together where he was before this, feeling frustration at still, even here, finding himself unable to remember things he _knew_ were important.

He slowly brought himself to a standing position, trying to ignore how strange that felt, placing more importance on where he was and how to get to where he needed to be.

Where did he need to be?

Even standing up, he could still only make out dark shapes. But the air around him was cold.

How could it have been?

Before this he was...with Yuugi?

No, not with Yuugi...

Flashes of it were slowly coming back.

 

“ _Stand up, partner.”_

 

No, surely...

 

“ _My name is Atem!”_

 

That's right! His head spun. They'd found his name. Of course...but...

That was it.

The last thing he remembered.

Walking into the light.

So then, why...

He stumbled forward, determined to figure out what was happening.

This can't have been the afterlife. It was cold and as he took another step forward, nearly blind, he realized that it felt like pavement under his feet.

But he knew he was dead. Should have been dead. Definitely can't have been someplace cold and paved.

Another step with his arms out for balance resulted in his hands meeting some sort of cloth. Wait...

 

Light.

 

He pushed the cloth aside to reveal that he'd been standing in an alleyway.

A cloth blocked the bright lights of the city from entering and even though it was apparently well into the night, his eyes still hurt as they were forced to adjust to the bright city lights.

The streets were crowded with people, but no one stopped to speak to him.

He took another step into the sidewalk before it occurred to him to look down and make sure he was at least clothed.

What he was wearing can't have been much more than a sheet with a fabric belt of sorts around his waist to keep the thing on him. It wasn't glamorous.

A few people stared as they walked past, but no one stopped.

He looked up at the buildings, still a bit dazed.

The writing on the advertisements and signs was English. Wherever he was, this city was _huge_.

As he was still processing his surroundings, the cold made him shiver, and he realized just how freezing it was here. Snow wasn't falling, but there were piles of it here and there where it had been gathered and refused to melt.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he realized someone was standing not too far away from him, and seemed to be asking him something.

It was a language he didn't understand. English maybe? Yuugi didn't know very much English, therefore his access to the language was almost non-existent. He recognized “hey” and the word “English” itself.

Were they asking if he spoke it?

Well, he didn't.

Not well enough to converse, anyway.

He started to get concerned. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in the afterlife. Or at the very least, was supposed to be dead. Mentally reaching for Yuugi was getting him nowhere, so he had to assume he was in this body completely alone.

Before he had time to completely panic, he heard the first familiar word he'd heard since waking up, coming from just down the street.

“Yuugi?!”

Followed by quick footsteps approaching from his left.

He turned to see a wonderful familiar face, and he couldn't help but grin even through his panic, at the sight of her.

“Anzu...”

She stopped a few feet from him. Stared. Let her mouth hang open.

“Atem...?”

He nodded, happy to be recognized, happy to be _seen_.

“What are you _doing_ here?” The Japanese language felt wonderful in his ears, and his comprehension of it felt blissful. Like coming home. “No, never mind that, it's freezing out here, what are you _wearing_?”

Suddenly she was grabbing his hand and guiding him along the streets.

“We've got to get you somewhere warm.”

He nodded again, the cold seeping into his bones making him realize that words would be much easier once they were indoors somewhere.

Anzu pulled him through the city streets like it was nothing, making turns and taking lead as though she knew the city quite well.

Voice shakier and a bit higher sounding than he'd like, he had to ask her a question, as he let her pull him along to wherever it was they were going.

“Anzu, h-how long...?”

He knew she was very perceptive and would know that he meant since the door, since he last saw Yuugi.

She slowed her pace as she thought.

“It's been about 6 months, I think.”

She lead him to walk more of beside her than behind her, as she continued to talk.

“Yuugi still talks about you. All the time.”

His heart fluttered. He wasn't sure how or why he was here, but he knew that he wanted to see his partner again if he got the chance.

“We've all missed you.” She continued, pulling a set of keys out of a purse he'd only just noticed existed.

She ushered him into a little ground level apartment door, the place she was apparently living in this huge city.

The warmth hit him as soon as the door opened, and stepping into it behind her felt like being able to breathe again after being stuck out in the bitter cold.

He realized just _how_ cold when he finally started to be able to feel his limbs again.

Moving felt strange, almost like the thin sheet he was wearing was too heavy and weighed him down, but he chose to ignore it in favor of glancing to see Anzu closing the little apartment door behind them, effectively cutting the cold air off and leaving only warmth in it's place.

She breathed a sigh of relief and looked him over, almost as though she was about to move closer, but then changed her mind.

He was almost hoping she'd speak to break this slightly awkward silence, but instead, she wordlessly guided him to the nearest full sized mirror.

He was almost afraid to look.

Surely he'd look the same, after she recognized him in a busy street full of hundreds of people.

Slowly, he turned his attention to it, his eyes first catching on the cloth around his body, the thin white sheet with the white sash tied around his waist, looking as ancient as he knew he was.

Then, he made a point to check and make sure his face was what he remembered.

He definitely recognized himself but...

Was his jawline always this soft?

With a small amount of horror, his eyes kept catching on other things that were _wrong_.

The thick lashes lining his eyes didn't bother him, that wasn't that different from before.

The image in the mirror was definitely still him. He was still himself.

His hair still shot up in a spiky thick mess of blonde and black, still the exact length he'd expect it to be.

His build was very similar to what he remembered, as well.

If it weren't for the extra weight hanging from his chest.

The width of his hips throwing his entire sense of balance off.

He pulled the cloth tight around his chest, needing to confirm what was already so painfully obvious.

The thin sheet-like cloth pulled tight around the breasts, and the sensation was almost as strange as the sight of it was.

He wasn't quite Anzu's size, no, but still plenty big enough to notice, especially without any sort of bra or underwear keeping it in check.

He blushed, realizing that Anzu was still standing behind him as he tried not to panic.

“Ah, I didn't think you'd noticed.”

She really was observant.

He hadn't noticed.

 Until now, besides the fact that he'd come crashing back into life with no warning and no reason, everything was relatively normal, or at the very least, was the sort of strange that he could handle.

This was definitely weirder than he could handle.

 

This was _wrong_.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The relentless assessment of his new body continued, even with Anzu watching.

The weight on his chest felt like enough to cause him discomfort, and it wasn't even contained in the essential undergarments he knew he'd have to somehow acquire.

“I uh--” he stuttered, voice much _much_ higher than he would have expected from himself. “Could I um...have a moment...?”

Anzu smiled to herself it seemed, before saying “Of course.” and leaving the room that he realized as she closed the door must've been a bathroom.

The minute the door was closed his hand immediately flew to the empty, _empty_ space between his legs.

It shouldn't have upset him. He'd been _dead_. How much harm could not having a penis possibly cause?

But it upset him nonetheless.

Still human, after everything he'd been through that tried to prove that theory otherwise.

He didn't like it. Didn't like any of it.

Not the emptiness between his legs, or the weight hanging from his chest, or the lack of tone he remembered Yuugi's arms and stomach having, that he'd grown too accustomed to.

Even the curve of his butt was off. Too intense.

As much as he recognized himself, this was far more uncomfortable than he'd assumed being a girl was like. Anzu didn't seem uncomfortable all the time. Not like this.

A few minutes after his admittedly depressing little self exploration journey took place, there was a quiet knock on the door.

“I've got clothes you can change into if you want.”

Bless Anzu, one step ahead of him in this whirlpool of emotion and confusion.

The panties and pajama pants were pretty self explanatory, but he almost found himself slipping the pajama shirt on without the bra at all.

He tried, he really really tried to get the spaghetti strap bra to work, but as his arms were caught in a hopeless tangle, he realized he was going to have to surrender this one.

“Anzu?” he called, grateful he wouldn't have to yell again when he heard her footsteps approaching. “Could I...have a little help with this...?”

He was embarrassed to ask, but he wasn't going to get anywhere on his own.

The door slowly opened, and the instant she saw him, she burst out in laughter.

He blushed deep red.

“No, no it's alright, I had trouble my first time too.” she managed through her still ongoing laughter. “Here, you just--”

She unclasped the offending piece of underwear in what was supposed to be the back.

“Ok, let me show you how, so you can do it next time.”

He nodded, still immensely embarrassed.

She flipped the back of the bra around the front of his ribcage, clasped it, and then spun it back around so that the cups were upside down but in the right position now. She helped him fit his arms through the straps, and helped him adjust them accordingly.

It was slightly too big for him, but not too uncomfortably so.

He hastily pulled the borrowed pajama shirt over his head, ready to hide any and all evidence of what would hide underneath.

“So...” Anzu started. “You definitely seem to remember me, huh?”

He turned quickly to see her as they headed towards the living area, where there was comfortable seating.

He sat on the couch across from her chair and naturally fell into a position with his legs crossed and back straight, one arm resting on the arm of the chair, much like one might sit in a throne. Much like he had before.

It was fake confidence. In this instance, his confident pose was a 'fake it 'til you make it' effort.

“Of course, Anzu.” he said, trying not to let this pitch of his voice bother him, even though the more he talked the more he noticed it. “The last thing I remember before waking up in an alleyway tonight is walking through the _doors_ in Egypt.”  
He tried to give her the most useful information as easily and quickly as possible. No beating around the bush.

“So...to you, it's like no time has passed at all?”

He was surprised at how much the question shook him up. His next breath shuddered almost enough for someone to notice. He didn't think Anzu noticed.

“Yes...I was-...you said it's been six months...?”

She nodded, and seemed to soak that in, just as much as he was having to.

“Yuugi and I talk a lot still...we email...he...he talks about you _every day.”_

That was good to know.

Very good to know.

His partner...

“He doesn't know, does he. That you're here.”

It was more of a statement than a question.

“No...no, I-...”

Yuugi couldn't see him like this. Not like this.

Meanwhile, Anzu seemed to have been checking the time on her phone.

“It's only noon in Japan right now, we could call him.”

He didn't mean to panic. And he did _want_ to talk to Yuugi. More than anything. His partner was his anchor whenever he felt lost. And he was feeling pretty lost.

“I...don't know what I'll tell him...”

He wished he could have appeared closer to Yuugi. He had no idea why he was even back in the land of the living at all.

“He's going to be really _really_ happy to hear from you. But first...could I ask you something?”

He'd known she was going to start asking questions sooner or later. The thing was, he wasn't sure he'd have answers for her. He was probably just as confused as she was.

“Sure...”

She looked him over in a way she knew would be weird for anyone who hadn't just literally come back to life, but figured he'd allow it, given all they had been through.

“You're a girl...a uhh...you're a woman. Do you have any idea why? I mean, I just have always seen you as a man...”

He couldn't keep the shocked look off of his face even though he had known the question was coming.

The first reason for the look being that she was addressing him as a woman. Could he argue with that?

“I...I'm not-...no. I don't know why. I just woke up in that dark alley and that's all I know.”

Anzu seemed to accept that as an answer and gave him a reassuring smile.

Why didn't he dispute it? Why didn't he tell her he still felt the same as he did back then?

_Could_ he dispute it? Even to himself?

A dial tone broke him out of his thoughts.

She was calling Yuugi? Now?

“Hey, Yuugi! It's me, what's up?”

Right now?

“Oh, I mean 10 isn't that late, are you out of class already, or?”

He strained his ears to see if he could hear his partner's voice on the other end. He couldn't.

“Yeah I just uhh, I wondered if you had a few minutes. Something sort of...happened. No, I'm ok! Just...do you have a minute?”

Suddenly a phone was in his hand and she was nodding at him, trying to get him to speak and he didn't know what to say or if Yuugi would even recognize his voice over the phone and with his tone all ruined and high and--

“Hello?”

His partner's voice. Loud and clear, as he'd pressed the phone to his ear in his panic.

“Anzu, what are you talking about? Hello?”

His heart hammered. He had to say something. Anything.

“Yuugi...?”

There was silence.

His heart felt like it was going to stop.

“Anzu, who are you with?”

Yuugi didn't sound frustrated, just...concerned.

“I...how are you...?”

The question was the only thing he could think to say. Anzu was seemingly enjoying his torture at least to a point, a genuine smile on her face.

“...Who is this...?”

His heart felt unstable again, like it might beat so fast that the rest of his body couldn't keep up.

“..It's me...it's your other self...please, I...”

He didn't even know what he was saying. He was starting to regret letting this phone call even happen.

He heard a gasp on the other side of the line.

“Ah...”

He didn't know what to do. How to respond. He awaited Yuugi's voice again, the sound of his heart drowning out almost everything else.

“You can't be...”

His heart sank. He didn't even sound that much like himself, so it was no wonder Yuugi didn't believe him.

“ _Aibou_...please believe me...I'm here, with Anzu...I'm here and I don't know why, but I miss you and-...”

He let his words trail off, his train of thought coming to an abrupt end.

Silence. Then a sound that was either a sigh or a sob.

Silence again.

“...can I talk to Anzu?”

He tried desperately to hide the tremor in his hand as he gave her phone back, and listened intently to hear what she had to say to his partner.

“It's really him, Yuugi. He's really here.”

The silence between her sentences was deafening.

“Only since about an hour ago. He says he woke up in an alley.”

…

“I promise it's him. I wouldn't joke about this, Yuugi.”

…

“Can you?”

…

“He wants to see you. He says...he told me that the last thing he remembers is the doors in Egypt, it's like no time has passed since then for him...”

…

“Ok, hang on.” She suddenly turned back to him, and held the phone close to her chest to muffle her own voice over the speaker, “He wants to talk to you.”

He stood in shock as he tried to make his hands work enough to take the phone.

“H-Hello...?”

He heard Yuugi take a deep breath.

“Listen...I need to see for myself. I've missed my other self _so much_...I can't...I...I just need to see. I'm coming, ok? I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon, your time. Hold tight, ok...? Stay there. Don't go anywhere.”

He was stunned.

“Okay, aibou...”

There was silence on the line again, except for Yuugi's not-quite-steady breathing.

“Aibou...?”

…

“Hm...?”

…

“I missed you too...”

He heard the first part of what _had_ to have been a sob before the line went dead.

 

 

 


	3. Meanwhile, in Domino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How has it been a year since I updated? What? How does time work? 
> 
> It lives.

Yuugi had to blink back tears after hanging up. Was he really about to cry over a voice on the phone? Over hearing someone use a nickname?

 

The potential that this was _actually_ who it sounded like was overwhelming.

 

But his voice _had_ sounded strange.

 

He was frozen, as he considered all of this. Anzu would never play such a painful prank on him, so he could rule that out. Could he rule out this being a dream? He checked the time on his phone, and that seemed reasonable, and then made the cliché decision to pinch his arm, and the pain was definitely real, so this didn't seem like a dream.

 

Was he really going to leave the country on a random weekday afternoon just for a voice over the phone?

 

It was what the voice _said_ that made him so sure he had to do it.

 

“ _I missed you too, aibou...”_

 

The emotion in his voice sounded very real, even if it was warped a little. Could the phone itself warp a voice quite that much? Maybe emotion was responsible for warping it the rest of the way.

 

Was he really there, alive? With Anzu? Why would he be with Anzu? Why wouldn't Yuugi have felt anything when he returned? They used to be connected in such an intimate way, if it was real, wouldn't he have felt something, anything, related to his partner's return?

_How_ was he planning on leaving this country on this random afternoon?

 

For this, he started flipping through contacts on his phone, as his brain desperately tried to make sense of all this.

 

He stopped on “Kaiba Mokuba” and hit the rarely used “call” button.

 

In the moments in took the phone to ring, his stomach refused to settle. If this was all real, he wanted to be in New York as quickly as possible. He had to get to him, to see him.

 

“Yuugi, is that you? Are you okay?”

 

After everything Mokuba had seen with them, he isn't surprised he's so quick to question their safety.

 

“Yeah...I uhh...could I call in a pretty big favor...?”

 

He started making his feet move towards home, as he listened for an answer.

 

“I mean, what sort of favor?”

 

Mokuba sounded curious and mildly concerned.

 

“I need a plane ride...or a ticket...Whatever works...”

 

He heard typing over the phone as he rounded a corner a few blocks from home.

 

“Okay, when and where? How soon are we talkin'?”

 

Fear crept into the pit of his stomach as he realized just how much he was asking for.

 

“I uhh...today...as soon as possible...to America...New York specifically...”

 

He heard Mokuba sigh,

 

“Listen I dunno if I can cover getting Seto to pay for a trip to see your girlfriend or whatev-”

 

“It's Atem.”

 

Mokuba stopped in the middle of his sentence and gasped.

 

Yuugi hadn't talked about him to anyone but his closest friends in weeks. Months. And even then, never by name. The name hurt too much. To hear that name out of his mouth was impressive by itself. Mokuba, even though he didn't hang around him _that_ often, knew that was strange by itself.

 

“What...?”

 

He tried to keep his voice steady. Mokuba didn't need to hear his tears, and they wouldn't help his cause.

 

“Anzu is in New York, and she did call me, but...she put someone else on the phone...and...he claims-...Mokuba, he said-...he-...he called me “partner”, I-...”

 

He could hear Mokuba pause and breathe.

 

“Seto will want to know...”

 

He should've thought of that, really. Why didn't he call Kaiba in the first place?

 

“Yeah...” was all he could manage in his emotional state.

 

“Ok,” Mokuba replied slowly, “You go pack a bag. We'll figure out a way to get you there. I'm gonna go tell Seto. I'll call you back, if he doesn't get to the phone first.”

 

“Okay...”

 

He let out a breath as he heard the phone on the other end click, signaling the call's end.

 

As he opened the door and heard the bell over it jingle, his stomach still in knots, he found himself feeling the smallest little flicker of _hope_ settle into his heart.

 

Grandpa greeted him with a smile, which fell after he saw Yuugi's face, and the emotions that were hopelessly displayed there.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

After all they'd been through, he'd finally been feeling a little bit better lately, able to eat normally and sleep normally again, after being so overwhelmed by grief that returning to a regular schedule seemed impossible.

 

Maybe grandpa thought it was a relapse or sorts. Maybe it was.

 

“I-...Man, this sounds crazy out loud...”

 

Grandpa chuckled. They'd seen a lot of crazy things in the past few years.

 

“Try me.” He said with a smirk.

 

Yuugi figured it wouldn't hurt to let him in on everything.

 

“I'm going to America...I'm leaving today if I can...I'm...going to pack a bag right now...”

 

Grandpa's eyes did widen a little, but a bit less than he expected. He couldn't imagine how a “normal” grandparent would react. He was glad Grandpa wasn't normal.

 

“America, huh? Is Anzu okay?”

 

Good 'ol Grandpa, already trying to piece the mystery together, before he even had all the information.

 

“Yeah, it's just...-” Yuugi met his eyes, letting them convey the deep emotion he wanted to get across. “It's Atem...I...Anzu called me and said she was with someone and...she said it was him, and...-”

 

Grandpa looked shocked for a moment, before his expression settled into more of a resolved look.

 

“Well then, don't waste time talking to me! Go pack! I'll explain to your mom when she gets home.”

 

It was Yuugi's turn to look shocked. He found himself a little frozen in place, all his confusing emotions keeping his legs from moving.

 

“Go on!” The older man repeated, “You'd best bring him back here, if you find him.” Yuugi nodded, but still didn't move, so grandpa continued, “I'd like to _properly_ meet him.”

 

_Bring him back here...._

 

The thought of his other self, in the flesh, sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch with him, or playing video games with him, being here so that grandpa could see him, and mom, and his friends...

 

It was enough to get his feet moving again.

 

As he got to packing a travel back, he thought to himself that he almost felt bad for Mokuba having to explain himself to his brother. Kaiba had been...strange, lately.

 

He'd been a bit more closed off, since everything happened in Egypt. A bit obsessive, a bit reclusive.

Perhaps that's why Yuugi hadn't called him directly. Kaiba had always been as hard to talk to as a brick wall, but it was getting more intense it seemed, as he got older.

 

Which is one of the reasons Yuugi wasn't _that_ shocked to hear Kaiba's gruff voice when he answered his phone, holding it to his ear with one hand, while the other zipped his luggage.

 

“ _Explain yourself._ ”

 

Ah, he didn't sound happy.

 

“Um...” Yuugi stuttered, “What'd Mokuba tell you?”

 

He didn't want to repeat information if Kaiba was already angry.

 

“No, start from the beginning.”

 

The beginning? He was hardly able to process it himself. How to summarize it...

 

“Someone with Anzu is claiming to be Atem. I talked to them. They called me 'partner'. I believe there's a chance it could be true. I'd have to see them in person to confirm it. Which is why...I'm asking for transportation to New York as soon as possible...”

 

There was an eerie pause, and he assumed it was taking Kaiba a moment to process what Yuugi himself had been unable to all afternoon.

 

“Are you packed?”

 

Always so cold. But at least it wasn't a no.

 

“Mhm...”

 

He was still having trouble understanding what was happening, he hadn't thought about how many classes he'd miss while he was off hopping across oceans.

 

“A car will be there to get you shortly.”

 

And the line went dead. He was officially hung up on. Kaiba could be so ruthless sometimes.

 

Packing hadn't taken him long, so he was left to his own thoughts as he descended the stairs, his emotions trying desperately to catch up with the day's events.

 

He'd said his other self's name more times today than he had in the last 6 months, and it was making him feel emotional and weary.

 

-Is it really you...?-

 

Resorting to speaking at the void in his head wasn't what he planned, but it was so hard not to, when thinking of the spirit who used to take up so much space there.

 

-Tell me it's real...I need to see you...-

 

He hadn't seen the man except for in his dreams in _six months_ , and when you miss someone, that can feel like years.

 

He bit his lip to hold back the feeling like he was going to cry, as he noticed the black car with tinted windows pull up to the game shop. That was Kaiba's style. That was his ride.

 

Worn and wary, but still determined to get to the bottom of this, he promised Grandpa he'd be safe as he exited the game shop, wondering how his day got this strange this quickly.

 

 


End file.
